Plot Bunny Containment Unit
by cerokun
Summary: One-shots and pieces of fics that I'm posting in an effort to clear the plot bunnies out of my brain. Please adopt!
1. Percy Jackson AU

**What's up? As I'm sure some of you have noticed from my profile, I've got a plethora of ideas for fanfiction. And they don't stop coming. I'm buried under a mountain of plot bunnies, and they're all as bad-tempered as the Rabbit of Caerbannog. Seeing as I'm fresh out of Holy Hand Grenades (my next shipment isn't due to arrive until next Thursday), I've decided to offload them into this specially designed containment unit for one-shots and teasers that will hopefully make the foul rodents leave me alone and let me get on with NQaP.**

**Whether any of these become full stories will depend on interest (both mine and readers').**

**This first one is a Percy Jackson fic that's been sitting in the back of my mind for years. This particular scene is only a snippet of what's in my head, but it's my favorite one.**

* * *

"Out of the way, Wise Girl!"

Annabeth ducked under Clarisse's spear, which went on to impale the monster behind her.

"Better watch your back! Don't think I'll do it for you!" the daughter of Ares sneered.

Annabeth's answer was to dart past and slam her knife through the chest of a dracanae that had snuck up behind Clarisse.

"Take your own advice!"

The two girls fell into step, whirling around each other, dust from defeated monsters falling all around them. More monsters started to focus on them, surrounding them in an ever-tightening circle.

"How many of you freaks are there?" Clarisse yelled. The monsters didn't answer in any coherent fashion, instead continuing to close in.

Just before Annabeth and Clarisse could be overwhelmed, the earth shook, cracked, and an army of skeletons latched onto the various limbs of the monsters, dragging them beneath the surface to their dooms.

"You two okay?" Bianca asked, her Stygian iron sword slicing through monsters like a spade through fresh grave soil. Tyson followed behind her, the Cyclops smashing skulls with a club he had picked up somewhere.

Clarisse snorted. "I was just about to smash the bunch of them. I didn't need your help."

The daughter of Hades pointed to the entrance to the Labyrinth, which had yet more monsters pouring out of it. "Well, you've got plenty more chances to prove it."

Clarisse and Annabeth both groaned. All around them the battles continued to rage as the residents of Camp Half-Blood struggled to hold back Kronos' army with no end in sight.

Clarisse glared at Annabeth. "Did you have to leave Seedbrain in Daedalus' lab? We could really use him here."

"Please don't fight," Tyson begged.

Bianca put herself between the two before another argument could erupt. "Zeus would have blasted him out of the sky without a second thought, Clarisse." She directed her attention to the frontline, where the rest of the Ares cabin had formed a protective phalanx around Nico, allowing the Son of Hades to devote his full focus to summoning more undead soldiers to even the odds. "Now come on. Let's go save our siblings." The three demigods and one Cyclops charged back into the fray.

Their attack faltered when the ground rumbled and Kampe, the dragon-woman from Alcatraz burst from the Labyrinth and perched herself on Zeus' Fist. Cackling madly, she drew a pair of scimitars and dove into the battle, slashing at every demigod unlucky enough to enter her reach. When there were no more lone halfbloods in range, she swooped toward the Ares phalanx.

Kampe's advance was stopped when Clarisse and Tyson threw themselves into her path, each blocking one of the scimitars. Annabeth dashed between the two, lunging at Kampe with her knife. She was forced to fall back though, dodging the snapping jaws of the shifting beast heads at Kampe's waist.

"Out of my way, you pests!" Kampe roared, sweeping her blades and tossing Clarisse and Tyson out of the way. She struck at Annabeth, only to shriek in surprise and pain when Bianca jumped out of her shadow and cut a deep slash in her draconic lower half. "Little bitch!" Bianca avoided the retaliatory swipe from Kampe's clawed hind legs but her barbed tail knocked the girl for a loop.

The dragon-woman rounded on the downed halfblood, intent on finishing her first.

That plan of action was interrupted when screams emerged from inside the Labyrinth. Kampe turned her attention to the entrance, just in time to a tank sized mastiff tear through the monster army's rear guard. Daedalus fought his way out of the Labyrinth beside her. Behind them emerged the last Hundred-Handed-One.

"Briares!" Tyson cried in happiness.

"Ho! Stand firm, little brother!" Briares idly tossed a rock up and down in one of his multitude of hands. "I have some complaints I'd like to discuss with my warden."

Kampe hissed. "I will make your death slow and painful, Briares!"

The giant grinned. "You may want to reconsider that. I don't think my friend will give you much time."

"What frie - ?"

Once again the ground rumbled. The earth around Zeus' Fists shattered as vines as thick as tree trunks exploded into being. The vines whipped wildly through the air, swinging watermelons and pumpkins the size of minivans, smashing monsters under the weight of thousands of pounds of flailing fruit.

"Took your sweet time, Seedbrain!" Clarisse yelled.

Striding out of the Labyrinth, golden-brown duster flapping behind him, Percy Jackson grinned at his friends. "Sorry I got delayed. New York traffic. What can you do?" he said with a shrug. His normally sea-green eyes were glowing gold, as they usually did when he used large amounts of his power. Reaching into his coat, Percy drew the sword he stolen from Luke.

Backbiter in hand, the Prince of the Harvest grinned as he surveyed the army of monsters, who no longer looked eager to continue the battle.

"Who's first?" the youngest son of Kronos asked.

* * *

**Yeah. Just something that won't leave me alone. How is Percy the son of Kronos? How is Bianca alive? Why are Clarisse and Annabeth acting like Vitriolic Best Buds?**

**Because I can. I probably will expand on this one. I think it's got too much potential to let go to waste. Who'd be interested in reading the full story?**

**Show of hands: Who knew that Kronos was _not_ originally the Titan of time? Yep. He was originally the Lord of the Harvest. I think it was during the Renaissance that he became associated with the figure of Father Time, probably because Kronos sounds like Chronos. **


	2. Star Wars Original Trilogy x KOTOR

**One…Two…Five...I mean Three!**

***incoming horde of plot bunnies explodes***

**It never ends… **

**This time we're taking a little trip to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.**

***more bunnies appear over the horizon***

**Oh for crying out loud…**

***pulls out another Holy Hand Grenade***

* * *

"Well, this rescue is going spectacularly," the princess grumbled.

"In our defense, we didn't even know you were aboard until we'd stolen the Stormtrooper disguises," Luke said, peeking around a corner. He immediately ducked back when he saw the docking bay full of troopers. "Okay, we're not going that way…"

Princess Leia huffed. "At least you seem to have some survival instincts. I wish the same could be said of your friend."

Luke scratched his head. "We're not really friends… Anyway, I'm kinda at a loss here. No way we can get to the Falcon with all those Stormtroopers blocking the way."

"What we need is a distraction," Leia said.

Luke blinked as the metaphorical glowrod lit up over his head. He scrambled for his comlink.

-x-

"Awed Query: You set them on fire with your boosters? Compliment: Your ability to improvise is astounding. I believe you and I shall get along far better than I did with my previous Master's astromech."

The blue astromech beside him responded with a series of beeps and whistles.

"Affirmation: Indeed. I shall speak with the Master about acquiring supplies. Surely he will be agreeable to seeing you restored to full functionality."

The comlink held in his rust-red fingers beeped.

"Query: Yes, Master? Is there something we can assist you with? Hopeful Query: May I kill something now?"

"_Yes."_

If droids were capable of blinking, it is likely he would have. Several times. He quickly ran a full diagnostic of his auditory systems.

"Apology: I'm sorry, Master. It appears I misheard you. Query: Did you say - ?"

"_Yes. Listen, I've got the princess but there's no way we can get to the ship right now. I need you to wreak as much havoc as you can. Draw as many personal away from the docking bay as possible. I'll com you when everyone has made it on board. Until then…do what you do best, I guess."_

-x-

A passing squad of troopers got the shock of their lives when a skeletal, rusty-red droid ripped its way out of a supply closet. Faster than they could react, the droid seized two troopers by their helmets and snapped their necks with a quick twist.

It then yanked the blaster rifles out of the dead troopers' hands and opened fire, downing the rest of the squad in seconds.

"Gleeful Affirmation: As you command, Master!"

* * *

**Something I thought up after I first played KOTOR. I wasn't writing fanfiction at the time, so it just sat in the back of my mind until now.**

**As you might have guessed, it's a Star Wars Original Trilogy AU, where C-3PO was destroyed before making it to the escape pod (he actually dies heroically, taking a blaster shot that would have hit R2). With the Jawas, R2 meets a certain snarky, trigger-happy assassin droid. Both of them are purchased by Owen and Luke (HK is perfectly capable of acting like a perfectly polite protocol droid when it suits him after all; he just doesn't like to).**

**Aside from some snarkiness from HK, things proceed pretty much the same as the Original Trilogy. Until the scene above. **

**Ben still dies (it was his time sadly). After they escape, HK mentions that – having multiple Jedi as past masters – he could provide Luke with some instruction in the theory and philosophy of Jedi Knights. Of course, being HK, he doesn't want some wet-blanket, pseudo-pacifist for a master. He wants someone more like Revan (heroic badass who's perfectly willing to let HK do his thing), and tries to steer Luke down said path.**

**Up for adoption if you're interested.**

******I really liked HK being rendered momentarily speechless by Luke's agreement. I imagine by this point he's gotten used to people telling him "No, HK, don't kill that guy" that he only asks out of habit and expects his master to deny him.**


	3. RosarioVampire x Jackie Chan Adventures

***Cerokun lies buried under a mountain of plot bunnies***

**Must…reach…utility belt!**

***Bat-Plot Bunny Repellent is deployed. Bunnies run screaming for the hills***

**Stupid fuzzballs…**

**We're paying a visit to the place monsters get their diplomas today.**

* * *

Tsukune Aono wondered what gods or demon sorcerers he had pissed off in a past life.

He was a normal teenager. Completely average in almost every way. All he wanted to do was go to school, graduate, and find a job (maybe something to do with archeology). So how the heck had he ended up enrolled in a school for monsters?

Granted it wasn't all bad. After all, he had a hot vampire girl for a new friend. That was a definite plus.

Of course, the universe couldn't give him a cute girl like Moka without throwing a few curveballs. Case in point: Saizou Komiya.

The bleach blond punk stared down at Tsukune and Moka.

"Seriously? What's a babe like you doing with a wuss like this?" Saizou lashed out and yanked Tsukune off the ground by the back of his uniform.

_Crap. I hope Uncle never hears that I got caught like this while lost in thought… He'll give me the 'Endless One-More-Thing Lecture'!_

"Come with me, cutie. I'll show you a good time." His eyes raked over Moka's body. The vampire shivered under his gaze.

_Okay, enough is enough._ Tsukune lifted his arms and slipped out of his jacket. Saizou blinked at the sudden loss of weight on his arm and turned his gaze to the empty jacket.

Tsukune dropped to the floor and rolled sideways, coming up on his feet in front of Moka. He put a protective arm out between her and Saizou.

Saizou smirked. "So…You want to fight, shrimp?" He gripped the jacket in both hands and ripped it in two. "I'm game."

Tsukune smiled. He started to raise his arms into a fighting stance… then spun around, scooped up a surprised Moka, and ran like hell.

Saizou blinked at the sudden one-eighty. By the time he recovered, Tsukune and Moka were long gone, lost in the crowd of students.

The hybrid monster growled. "We ain't done, wuss."

-Hours later-

Tsukune searched the academy grounds.

In hindsight, he had definitely overreacted, running away before he could see Moka's reaction to hearing he was human. In his defense, he was a teenager, and by default not good at thinking before he acted.

He had to find Moka and apologize.

A terrified scream drew his attention to the woods.

-x-

Tsukune arrived in a graveyard, just in time to see Saizou pin Moka against a headstone.

"Hey! Leave her alone!"

Saizou turned around to glare at the interloper, but the glare became a grin when he saw Tsukune.

"Well now… normally I'd be annoyed at being interrupted, but in this case I'll make an exception." He shoved Moka aside, throwing her hard into a tree. The vampire moaned in pain as Saizou stalked toward Tsukune.

Tsukune held up his hands. "Come on, Saizou. Let's not do this. Just back off, we go our separate ways, no one has to get hurt," he pleaded.

"Where's the fun in that?" Saizou asked. He lunged in, swinging at Tsukune with a massive haymaker.

Tsukune ducked, spun low, and swept Saizou's feet out from under him.

Saizou's momentum carried him forward and he smashed face-first into a headstone.

Tsukune dashed over to Moka and helped her up.

"Are you okay?" He jumped when she glomped him.

"Tsukune! I'm sorry! I want to be your friend! I really do! I don't care if you are human… You're the first person who ever wanted to be friends with me…"

"Moka…"

"Hey, wuss!" Saizou's voice ended the moment. The delinquent had picked himself up and was brushing dirt off his pants. "This isn't over." He leered at Moka. "Just sit tight, babe. We'll finish up after I smash this shrimp into a bloody smear on the ground." His body began to grow and morph.

"W-w-what's happening?" Tsukune stammered.

"He's turning back into his true form! Tsukune, run! He'll be more dangerous than ever like this!"

"Too late," Saizou grunted.

Tsukune gulped as he stared up at the hulking mass of muscle Saizou had become. "Bad day…" he muttered.

Then Saizou was on him. Tsukune ducked the first swing, leaned back to avoid the second, and flipped over and onto the third.

Saizou stared in shock when Tsukune landed on his outstretched arm. The human smiled then spun and smashed a roundhouse kick into Saizou's nose.

Saizou staggered back a step. Tsukune flipped off his arm and delivered another kick to Saizou's abused schnozz.

This time though Saizou snagged Tsukune's leg before he could get out of range. With a roar, Saizou threw Tsukune across the graveyard.

"Baddaybaddayba – oof!" Tsukune lay on his back, wishing the graveyard would stop spinning.

"I'b godda kill you…" Saizou growled through the blood pouring down his face.

Tsukune shook his head and regained his senses just in time to roll out of the way of Saizou's stomp. He kept on rolling away from the monster until he reached a fallen tree branch.

"Dhad uzeless dwig ain't godda do nodhing!" Saizou boasted. He reached for Tsukune, confident that his durable hide would protect him from Tsukune's impromptu staff.

Until Tsukune rapped him across the knuckles with it.

"Gah!" Saizou yanked his hand back and lashed out with the other arm.

Thwack.

" Ow! Dammid!" Saizou launched a flurry of thrusting grabs, trying to get around the 'useless twig'.

Thwack.

Thwack.

Thwack.

Thwack.

"Cud dhat out!" Saizou roared, rubbing his tender knuckles.

Tsukune obliged.

Thunk.

Saizou collapsed, clutching his groin. Blinking back tears, he got a view of Tsukune winding up and delivering a swing worthy of Tiger Woods directly between his eyes, finally sending him into merciful blackness.

Tsukune dropped the broken branch and stumbled over to Moka. He dropped to the ground and leaned back against the tree.

"Whew…"

Moka gaped. "Are you sure you're human?"

Tsukune nodded. "Still want to be friends?"

Moka nodded happily.

Then she noticed that Tsukune had received a cut on his forehead during his fight with Saizou.

"Um…Moka?"

"Kapuchuu!"

"Gah!"

* * *

**Most Rosario+Vampire stories either replace Tsukune or turn him into an OC with Tsukune's name. While many of these are great reads, I've been looking for something a little different.**

**It hit me yesterday when I got nostalgic and decided to see if I could find episodes of Jackie Chan Adventures on YouTube.**

**Bumbling nice guy? Check. Facing (and surviving) monsters that eat humans like him for breakfast? Check. Really wishes all the monsters (the non-cute ones anyway) and magical craziness would leave him alone so he can have a relatively normal life? Check.**

**The important thing here is that Tsukune starts as - **_**and remains**_** - a Badass Normal. That was one of my favorite things about Jackie in the cartoon. Through all the seasons, Jackie held his own against Shadow Kahn, demons, evil wizards, magical warriors, and dozens of fellow Badass Normals and never used the Talismans or other magical artifacts they collected unless absolutely necessary.**

**Also remember that Jackie never fought if he could help it. He runs away, tries to talk his way out, and almost never throws the first punch (I think the time with Valmont on Mount Rushmore is the only time he tries to start a fight).**

**And yes, Tsukune should have an uncle/cousin/possible extended family member just like Uncle.**

**Up for adoption if you're interested.**


	4. Tales of Symphonia x Final Fantasy VII

_**Cerokun tiptoes around the comatose plot bunnies.**_

**(whispering) **Okay. Love Psycho, thank you for spiked cookies. A little slow acting but they seem to have done the trick.

I know, I know. You all want to read SNGaP. I'm sorry. I've got it out-lined; I'm just having some problems wording it in a way I like. A week tops, I swear.

In the meantime, who is excited about FFVII being rereleased? I know I am. Or at least I was, until I discovered that I can't play it, because I have a Mac and it's **only** **on F***ing PC!**

_**Several plot bunnies stir. Cerokun falls silent and holds very still. The bunnies soon fall back into deep slumber.**_

Phew… Okay, yeah, I'm kinda pissed about that since I've never gotten the chance to actually play the game and I really wanted to.

Sadly, I don't have any of the other Final Fantasy games with me to console myself. So I turned to reading FFVII fanfiction. One of the one-shots I read (the name of which escapes me now) spelled Nibelheim as "Niflheim".

I dismissed this as a simple case of things not translating perfectly into the English alphabet (happens all the time). Then I woke up last night with a plot bunny chewing on my brain. Wasn't there a sidequest in Tales of Symphonia involving a Book of Niflheim? A quick check on the Internet confirmed it.

The plot bunnies' population exploded after that...

* * *

"Yo, old man, we at Midgar yet?"

"Shaddup! You're lucky I'm giving you a ride at all!"

Zack Fair groaned and thumped his head against the cab of the truck. He looked at the two other occupants of the truck bed. "So, Cloud, what are you gonna do when we reach Midgar?"

"…"

A red-gloved hand waved itself in front of Cloud's eyes. The blond infantryman gave no indication he noticed it.

"He's out again."

Zack shrugged. "After all the shit he's been through, he deserves the rest." The black-haired SOLDIER leaned forward. "What about you, Lloyd? You gonna stick with us when we reach Midgar?"

Lloyd Irving interlaced his fingers behind his head. "I guess. I mean, it's not like I have any clue where else I'd go. I'd like to track my friends down but I'd probably just end up wondering aimlessly…"

Zack grinned. "No worries, Lloyd. We'll find work, make some money, then we can start searching for those friends of yours." The metaphorical bulb lit up over Zack's head and he slapped a fist into his palm. "That's it! We can be traveling mercenaries! That way we can make money and search around at the same time."

"Mercenaries huh?" Lloyd sighed wistfully, thinking of the red-haired swordsman that had originally introduced himself as a member of said profession.

"First thing though, we gotta go pay someone a visit!"

"Oh?" Lloyd grinned. "Who? Your girlfriend?"

"Yep!" Zack admitted. "I can't wait to see Aerith again!" The SOLDIER swooned in mock horror. "Oh my poor, lovely flower girl! Deprived of her dashing knight in shining armor for five years!"

"More like the stray mutt she picked up off the street," Lloyd snickered.

Zack scowled. "Just wait, Lloyd. I going to have a lot of fun returning the favor when you find yourself a girl."

Lloyd gulped and turned away, a blush on his cheeks, a lovely face framed by dark hair appearing in his mind.

Zack grinned. "Oh…so you've already got someone, huh? One of the people we're gonna be looking for?" The look on Lloyd's face told him all he needed to know. Zack chuckled evilly. "I can't wait to meet her…"

The roar of a helicopter soaring overhead cut off any comeback. Zack's eyes narrowed when he saw the ShinRa logo on the side. "Oh crap." He tapped on the truck's back window. "Better let us off here, old man."

The truck pulled over and Zack and Lloyd hauled Cloud out of the bed.

"Stay here, Cloud," Zack said once they had him hidden behind a rock outcrop. The blond didn't respond. "Good boy."

Zack strode up the road, Mako enhanced hearing picking up the clatter of an army's worth of boots, armor, and guns. He shot a sideways glance to the red-clad teen beside him. "You could stay with him you know. No reason to risk your life along with me."

"Dwarven Vow #2: Never abandon someone in need. Besides, I'd still be lost in the mountains if you two hadn't stumbled on me. Dwarven Vow #3: Never leave a debt unpaid."

"You and those Vows. Reminds me of Genesis and _Loveless_…"

The pair rounded the bend and found themselves face-to-gun barrel with the ShinRa army.

"Bet I can get more than you," Zack challenged, drawing the Buster Sword.

"You're on." Steel rang as Lloyd's twin blades cleared their sheaths.

-x-

"There! That should do it," the blonde teen said triumphantly.

Aerith looked at the boards haphazardly nailed over the girl-shaped hole in the church's front wall and giggled.

Colette sighed. "I'm sorry. Lloyd is much better at fixing things than I am…"

"Don't worry. I've gotten used to meeting people after having them smash something in here," she says, looking up at the patched roof.

-x-

"THIS IS MARVELOUS! Such fascinating architecture! Oh, I could spend years excavating here and it would never get boring!"

Genis sighed and palmed his face. "Lost in a place we've never heard of, no idea how to get home, and she still drops everything to inspect a ruin…"

-x-

Zelos stood on the beach, wearing a pair of palm tree patterned swim trunks.

"Yeah. I could get used to this…"

The Chosen of Tethe'alla slid on a pair of sunglasses and strode towards a group of bikini-clad sunbathers.

-x-

Sheena pinched the bridge of her nose. Her hand darted out and caught the reaching hand before it could touch her Seal pouch.

"Will you cut it out already?"

The "Great Ninja Yuffie" pouted. "I just wanna see 'em…"

"I've shown you plenty of times. I thought you wanted to find more of that "Materia" stuff. Stop trying to steal my Seals."

"But they're so cool! I mean, they're just pieces of paper with writing on them, but you can kill monsters with them! That's awesome!"

Sheena scratched her cheek self-consciously. No one had shown so much interest in her Seals since Lloyd had gotten curious about them. She was holding out hope that someday she'd be able to show him how to make his own.

Yuffie cocked her head to the side as the older ninja blushed and started shaking her head. The princess of Wutai shrugged. Yuffie couldn't care less about what the cause was.

She only cared that Sheena had finally dropped her guard.

"Yoink!"

"H-hey! Yuffie, give those back!"

-x-

Presea stared at the black-haired vampire-like man.

Vincent stared at the pink-haired child with the monstrous ax.

-One hour later-

Presea stared at the black-haired vampire-like man.

Vincent stared at the pink-haired child with the monstrous ax.

-Two hours later-

Presea stared at the black-haired vampire-like man.

Vincent stared at the pink-haired child with the monstrous ax.

-This could go on for a while…-

-x-

Once again in prison, Regal contemplated the practicality of actually wearing shackles as a symbol of his vow. Maybe he should consider something less likely to make him look like an escaped convict…

-x-

"For the last time, you can count the guys inside the copters, but the copters themselves aren't worth anything!"

"You're just ticked that you didn't get to them first!"

"Damn right I am! How the hell did you float like that? That's just not fair!"

Two bickering swordsmen continued on toward Midgar, their blond friend slung between them, and the smoldering ruins of ShinRa's army behind them.

* * *

**Yeah, I thought this would be a fun one to do. When you think about it, some parallels can be drawn between Tales of Symphonia and FFVII, like Expheres (essentially a person's soul trapped in the form of a crystal) and Materia (crystallized Lifestream, which is also people's souls). Definitely potential there.**

**I made up Dwarven Vow #3. There wasn't one on the Tales wiki and it seemed like a Vow that should exist.**

**Really, how does Lloyd float like that when he uses Rising Falcon? Foreshadowing for the end of the game maybe? Hmm…**

**If you hadn't guessed, Raine and Genis ended up at the City of the Ancients. Regal is in the prison under the Gold Saucer.**

**I admit that I'm a SheLloyd shipper. If someone picks this up, I'd appreciate if you'd use that pairing.**


	5. Code Geass For Want of a Nail

_**Machetes dull from constant use, Cerokun retreats. The horde presses forward with new vigor. Cerokun sheaths the now useless blades and plunges a hand into his duffel bag. A plot bunny leaps into the air, aiming for Cerokun's face.**_

**BOOM!**

_**The horde draws up short as fuzzy mist settles gently on the ground.**_

**Cha-Chak.**

_**The horde begins to slowly back away at the sound of a fresh round being chambered in Cerokun's 10-gauge.**_

"**And I'm all out of bubblegum!"**

_**Pandemonium reigns as the shotgun roars again.**_

**While I finish these furballs off, enjoy this trip to the world of giant robots, pizza-obsessed immortals, and Johnny Yong Bosch.**

* * *

_Lelouch?_

Kallen fell to her knees as the pieces of Zero's mask hit the stone floor, revealing her raven-haired classmate.

_How? How can he – of all people? – be Zero?_

Kallen could only stare in shock as Lelouch admitted to having been the masked revolutionary this whole time.

"You used us? You used me?"

"And through my actions, Japan can be freed!"

Kallen sat there, paralyzed, as Suzaku and Lelouch argued.

_That's right…because of Zero…because of Lelouch…It's because of him that we made it this far!_

The world snapped back into focus and new strength surged through her limbs.

-x-

"Lelouch!"

"Suzaku!"

The two former friends leveled their guns at each other, racing to be the first to fire. Their fingers tightened on the triggers.

A gun fired.

Suzaku screamed in pain and fell, clutching his shoulder.

Lelouch stared at the fallen knight, his gun still out, unfired. He blinked when a pair of red-clad legs stepped over Suzaku, spun, and punted the Honorary Britannian down the stone stairs. The exiled prince lifted his gaze and gulped audibly when he met Kallen's blazing eyes.

"So, it's really been you leading us all this time?" she asked, walking toward him.

"Um…yes?" Lelouch backed up as Kallen entered his personal space. His back hit the massive door behind him, ending his retreat. Kallen glared up at him.

"And you didn't tell me because…?"

"Well…I…" Damn it! Why was his voice failing him now?

POW!

Lelouch dropped, clutching his eye. That was going to leave a hell of a shiner.

Kallen held her clenched fist in front of her face. "That was for not trusting me, you jerk! Did you think I would turn on you if I knew?"

"Considering that I'm lying here, nursing a soon-to-be black eye…"

Kallen snorted. "That doesn't count. You deserved it." She grabbed him by the arm and hauled him to his feet. "Come on, you big baby. Suck it up! We've got a war to win and we can't do it without you!"

Lelouch yanked his arm back. "I can't! Not now! I need to save Nunnally!"

"And the Black Knights need you to save them!" Kallen grit her teeth. She liked Nunnally. It was impossible not to. But without Lelouch leading them, the rebellion was doomed. "Please, Lelouch. You've given us so much hope. You made us believe that we could take our country back. All those people…Will you really abandon them when they need you the most?"

"_If it means choosing between them and Nunnally? In a heartbeat," _he almost said. But he had given his word that he would free Japan. And for all his faults, Lelouch was a man of his word. He stared longingly at the door behind him. _Wait for me, Nunnally. I swear I'll come for you._

The leader of the Black Knights straightened.

"Kallen."

"Ah…yes?"

"When Japan is free, can I count on you to help me find my sister?"

Kallen grinned. "Of course!"

"Then let's go, Q-1. Tomorrow, the people of Land of the Rising Sun shall greet the dawn as Japanese once again!"

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

**All those Code Geass stories and I haven't seen a single one that changes the outcome of the Big Reveal. I'd think that would be the obvious place to diverge from canon… Of course, while I was writing it, I realized that such a change would require Lelouch to choose others over Nunnally, which he would never do in canon. I decided to post it anyway because this is fanfiction and canon can kiss my ass.**

**And since I'm left feeling that this was a bit too serious for me, continue reading for some complete and utter crack!**

* * *

"With this Geass, I can command you to do anything. For example, I could order you to **call Suzaku to your chambers tonight, greet him wearing nothing but pink ribbons, and order him to do all manner of perverted things to you**."

"Yes, Your Highness!" Euphemia acknowledged happily.

"Wait, what?"


	6. Hill of Swords Shirou Summoned as Archer

**Double Tap!**

_**More bunnies are reduced to the consistency of chunky salsa.**_

**Granted, that usually applies to zombies, but I'm pretty sure these rodents are just as eager to feast upon my brain.**

**Yep, two one-shots for the price of one. The bunnies are breeding faster than I can take them out. Anyone got a Gatling gun I can borrow? Or maybe a tank?**

**This is dedicated to Gabriel Blessing, the genius behind "In Flight" and "Hill of Swords", the latter of which is the basis for this.**

* * *

Emiya Shirou blinked as he took in his surroundings. He was reclined on a makeshift throne of what seemed to be smashed furniture. What hadn't been destroyed by his entrance appeared to be fairly high quality.

He was also getting the biggest case of déjà vu he'd ever had.

"Oh, my aching pommel…What the hell was that?"

And that was a voice he hadn't heard in an eternity.

"Derflinger?"

"Partner?"

Shirou dug through the smashed wood and upholstery and extracted a sheathed sword.

"Well I'll be damned. Long time no see, Partner," the talking sword greeted him. "Where are we?"

Shirou shrugged. The room did look very familiar. He might have been able to more easily recognize it if it wasn't half destroyed.

"Got me. Last thing I remember, Gilgamesh was picking another fight with me while I was trying to get ready for an evening with Saber." Granted, the adult King of Heroes on the Throne was far easier to get along with than the teenage version Shirou had battled during his youth (apparently that youth potion of his affected his maturity level as much as his physical age), but the guy was still an arrogant prick that didn't like to accept that a "faker" could fight him on even footing.

Derflinger chuckled. "So you finally found that girl of yours, huh? Good for you, Partner."

Shirou smiled. "How's Louise?"

"Lively as ever, last I saw. And nearly as famous as you were. Wouldn't surprise me if you run into her on the Throne of Heroes eventually."

Shirou smiled. It was good to hear that the adorable little mage that had summoned him so long ago had grown so much.

Wait…Summoned?

Shirou looked around again, the nagging sense of familiarity starting to make much more sense. Things started to click into place.

"Derflinger…I think I might know where we are…"

And then a door slammed open, admitting a petite, black-haired young woman wearing a red sweater, short skirt, and thigh-length stockings.

"Scratch that. I know exactly where we are…"

It looked like Shirou would be able to make good on that declaration he had made years ago after all. And Louise and Siesta weren't around to stop him this time.

Tohsaka Rin gulped as her Servant started chuckling maliciously.

-After much adventure, comedy, sexy times, and epic displays of GAR-

Emiya Shirou, the Servant Archer, the King of Swords, the Elf Bane, the Endless Armory, and a half dozen other titles that he never really cared about or wanted, held the now purified Grail aloft as his Master, sentient Noble Phantasm, parallel dimension younger self, and parallel dimension alternate of his lover watched on.

The Holy Grail accepted his wish and emitted a blinding light as it granted it.

A male figure appeared before him, looking around in confusion. Its eyes fell on Archer and a look of pure fear crossed its face.

Shirou took a moment to savor that terrified expression.

Then he kicked the Root of the World square in the balls.

* * *

**It had to be done. I couldn't help it. This particular plot bunny has been chewing away since the first time I read "Hill of Swords".**

**I'm sure that even in this short one-shot, I've made half a dozen mistakes that the TYPE-Lunatics will tear me apart over… But I had fun writing it, so I don't give a damn.**

**I wonder if Gabriel Blessing would be willing to take this and expand it into a full story? I'd definitely read it.**


	7. Ichigo Peggy Sue

**Seeing as I have been so far unable to acquire suitable firearms to deal with the rapidly multiplying plot bunny hordes, I have recruited some people who already have said firepower. And they were very happy to assist.**

"_**Cry some more!"**_

**Perhaps…too happy. But what the hell. They only asked for sandviches in payment, so I'm good.**

**Now then, this is actually a Bleach plot bunny. Peggy Sue fics that send Ichigo back to the Turn Back the Pendulum arc are fairly common. But frankly, I've never understood why Ichigo doesn't just do the following:**

* * *

Aizen Sosuke, Vice-Captain of the 5th Division blinked when a tall, orange-haired young man appeared in front of him.

"Hello. My name is Kurosaki Ichigo. You killed my father, my sisters, my best friend, my rival, my teacher, my other teacher, my allies, and all of my assorted love interests. Prepare to die."

Then he chopped off Aizen's head, set the corpse on fire, and pissed on the ashes.

* * *

**See? Simple. Sure he'll probably have the entirety of Seireitei trying to arrest him and run him through with the Sokyoku, but it's not like that's never happened before.**

**By the way, for those who haven't read it: Hogyoku Ex Machina. Best damn Peggy Sue fic ever.**

**Now then, next time I think we'll be getting a visit from -**

_**The Scout, Soldier, Spy, Demoman, Pyro, and Engineer run past, screaming in fear. The Heavy lags behind, but is hoofing it as fast as his little legs can carry him.**_

**Wait, what's going on?**

_**A house-sized, green, scaly foot with claws longer than most SUVs comes down, smashing the Heavy.**_

**Oh crap. He's early.**

_**Blue-white flames scorch the landscape.**_


	8. NGE x Godzilla

_***Cerokun runs past the camera. A few seconds later, he pokes his head back into frame***_

"**The King of the Monsters is not happy about these wannabe kaiju dicking around in **_**his**_** stomping grounds."**

**SHREEEOONK!**

"**Oh shit. Gottarunbye!"**

_***Cerokun ducks out of frame. There is a flash of blue-white fire before the screen fades to black***_

* * *

Misato lets loose a stream of profanity that makes even the veteran sailors around her blush.

_Of course a *bleep*ing aquatic Angel would show up the one time we have an Eva out on the open water!_

The _Over the Raindow_ shook as the Angel tore through another ship, the screams of dying sailors echoing over the radio before cutting out abruptly.

"We just lost the _Othello_, Captain!"

"God damn it! Shoot the damn thing!"

"We're throwing everything we've got at it! Nothing's working!"

Misato scoffed at the Captain's idiocy. "Of course it's not. The only thing that can breach the AT-Field is another AT-Field." Misato steps up to the communications officer. "Contact the transport ship! Tell Asuka to get her ass in the giant robot!"

"You can't just –" the Captain tried to protest, but a glare from Misato shut him up.

"There's an Angel attacking. That makes this NERV's jurisdiction, so either do something useful or shut the hell up and get out of my way!"

"…The Eva's only got B-Type equipment. It won't be able to fight effectively if it gets knocked in the water."

"Wonderful." Misato bit her lip. _How the hell are we going to do this?_

"_Unit-02 to Over the Raindow! Can you read me?"_

Misato snatched up a headset. "We read you, Unit-02. Where's the Third Child?"

"_Um…I'm here too, Misato…"_

Misato blinked. Shinji and Asuka, crammed together in the Plug? If they all lived through this, she would have to tease them mercilessly.

However, any plans forming to actually accomplish that screeched to a halt when the Angel suddenly stopped dead in the water. With a flick of its tail, the beast turned itself away from the fleet, then just sat there.

"What the hell?" Misato wondered aloud.

"Oh God," the sonar operator suddenly said. "Oh God no. No no no no no!" In seconds, every eye was focused on him.

"What? What is it?" Misato demanded. When the operator failed to answer (probably because he was hyperventilating), Misato stalked over to his station and looked at the screen.

And all color immediately drained from her face.

Misato wasn't experienced with sonar. None of her previous military positions had required it. But there was one sonar signal that every member of every military had memorized, for the simple purpose of having the forewarning needed to kiss their butts good-bye.

_I guess it was too much to hope that Second Impact succeeded where trillions of dollars in military hardware failed._

"_Uh, he~llooo. Anybody there? You guys got a plan for dealing with this Angel, or should we just wing it?"_

"No!" Misato cried into the radio. "Put the Eva on stand-by! You two stay put and don't do anything to draw attention to yourselves!"

"_Huh? Hey, what's the big idea? You can't just shut down Unit-02's big debut!"_

"_Misato?"_

"Just sit tight. If we're really lucky, the Angel's about to be taken care of. If we're really unlucky, we'll be next. And I have no clue what good the Eva will do against Him."

"'_Him'? Who's 'Him'?"_

Misato's response was cut off when the sea boiled and erupted in front of the Angel.

Then all hell broke loose.

"**GOJIRA!"**

* * *

**Yeah. It's said that things could always be worse. And what better way to prove that than to unleash the god damned King of All Monsters?**

**Can NERV rise to meet this new challenge in addition to the Angels? Can the Evangelions succeed where numerous other giant robots have failed?**

**And if they can, can they keep it up when the rest of the kaiju start waking up?**

**Up for adoption!**

**I have no clue whether or not someone can actually learn to recognize a specific sonor signal. But if it is possible, I'm certain that the people living in a world overrun by giant monsters would make sure they could recognize the biggest and baddest on sight.**


	9. Psyren x Sekirei

**Yo. I'm back! 'NQaP: The Movie' has taken a bit of a back seat due to finals, reading (I finally got 'Cold Days'!), and my apparent inability to write a decent "Let's You and Him Fight" scenario. Don't worry though. I'll figure it out!**

**On the bright side, my Bring It On muse has returned. There's about a thousand words in the new chapter so far, with about two thousand more on the way. :D**

**In the meantime, this bunny has been chewing on my brain for the past week. I blame stories like In Flight, Veiled Moon, and A Soul of Fire.**

* * *

"Ageha, who is this?"

Yoshino Ageha tugged at his collar. Sakurako had _that smile_ on her face. The one that promised lots of pain and possibly an appearance by Abyss in the near future.

Actually, given Abyss's near homicidal jealousy and the fact that there was a very beautiful young woman hanging onto his arm, it was extremely likely that Amamiya's other half would be emerging. Which meant he had to do some fast talking or he'd be stuck between two (three?) pissed off, super-powered females.

"Her name's Kaho. She said she was a 'Sekirei' and that I was her… What was it again?"

"Ashikabi," Kaho said. "My master, my one and only, my soulmate… Would you like me to continue?" she asked.

_Shit._ Ageha noticed that Kaho had the same look as Sakurako on her face. _Why did this happen to me? __I told her I had a girlfriend already! _

"She used PSI!" Ageha blurted, not a moment too soon, because it looked like both girls were about to go for their weapons. "She was getting attacked by these two SM-looking girls with a lightning Burst and all three were using Rise! I stepped in to break it up, cause they were really tearing up the area and it was only a matter of time before the police showed up. And you know they'd call in the army once they realized Psychicers were involved!"

"Ageha rescued me from the Lightning Twins. He was so dashing and heroic, I was really excited when I reacted to him!" Kaho hugged his arm tighter.

"After I sent those two packing, Kaho got all flushed and she… um…kissed me…" Ageha flinched as Sakurako's aura blazed with such intensity that for a second he thought she'd been replaced with Frederica. "Then these glowing wings sprouted from her back and I think she established some kind of Trance link with me."

"I see," Sakurako said calmly. Then her smile turned scary again. "So you thought you could hypnotize my boyfriend, huh, bitch?" The smile went from "scary" to "diabolical" as her skin darkened.

_Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!_

"Well, that's nothing a quick lobotomy won't fix," Abyss purred, her scythe-shaped Burst emerging from her back. Kaho grabbed her naginata and held it at the ready.

Fortunately, before any actual violence could happen, Ageha's phone started going off.

* * *

**If you've never read the manga Psyren, go do it now. Seriously, you don't know what you've been missing out on. **

**Anyway, Sekirei are said to be psychic, so it's not hard to attribute their abilities to PSI. And I'd really love to see Matsuri duke it out with Karasuba. Sure, Shin Tokyo would probably end up a pile of rubble, but it'd still be an epic battle.**

**Someone please adopt!**

**Also there are plenty of other plot bunnies up for adoption on my profile. They are free to a good home.**


	10. Mass Effect x inFamous

**So I was reading some Mass Effect fics (Consuming Direct Control, Glorious Shotgun Princess, etc), and this plot bunny spontaneously spawned.**

**A lot of this dialogue is copied verbatim from Mass Effect 2. *Jedi Mind Trick* Ignore my lack of imagination in the conversations.**

…

***Jedi Mind Trick again* Ignore my use of the Jedi Mind Trick in a series that is not part of the Star Wars EU.**

* * *

"What can you tell me about the project? Were there any other test subjects?" Shepard asked.

Jacob started to answer then paused in thought. "You know, I think there was one more. I don't know the details though. You'd have to ask Miranda."

After a few more questions, Jacob's communicator beeped.

"_Check. Check. Anyone on this frequency? Anyone still alive out there? Hello?"_

"Wilson? This is Jacob. I'm here with Commander Shepard. Just took out a wave of mechs over in D Wing."

"_Shepard's alive? How the hell… never mind. You need to get him out of there. Get to the service tunnels and head for the network control room."_

"Roger that, Wilson. Stay on this frequency."

"I think I remember a Wilson checking on me one time when I woke up…" Shepard noted.

"That's him. He's the chief medical tech. Answers directly to Miranda."

"Would he know anything about that other subject?"

"Maybe. I'll ask him as we move. If it's on the way and they're able to be moved, maybe we can pick him or her up. C'mon, the service tunnels are this way."

They didn't get the chance to ask Wilson over the radio, because he started yelling about being found by the mechs. Jacob and Shepard immediately double-timed it to his position.

"Bastards got me in the leg," Wilson groaned.

A quick medi-gel patch later, Wilson was up and mobile again.

"Jacob said Project Lazarus had another test subject. Are they awake too?" Shepard asked.

"Another…? Oh. No. He hasn't shown any kind of response. Physically, he's fine, but he won't wake up. It's probably because his remains were so much older than your own. We had to practically clone everything from scratch."

"I see. Well then, there's no point I suppose. We have to focus on saving our own asses right now."

Of course, that was easier said than done. Right on cue, a squad of mechs came through the door leading to the shuttles and opened fire.

Shepard, Jacob, and Wilson scrambled for cover.

Wilson indicated the canisters on the far side of the room. "We can Overload the canisters to clear a path to the shuttles."

That advice ended up not being needed.

All the mechs suddenly stopped firing and let out mechanized yells of pain. The three humans stopped and stared as tendrils of electricity erupted from the mechs and flowed to a point just out of their sight.

Shepard and Jacob kept their guns trained on the open door as the electricity stopped and the mechs collapsed, completely powerless.

A man stepped into view. Shepard aimed his pistol at him.

"Whoa. No need for that," the man said in a gravely voice, raising his hands. "Wouldn't do you much good anyway."

"I don't believe it," Wilson muttered. "How is he awake?"

"Identify yourself," Shepard ordered, not lowering his gun.

The man blinked. "Wait. You don't know who I am? Thought everybody knew my face. You know, 'The Demon of Empire City'? 'New Marais' Devil'?"

"Those names aren't inspiring me with an urge to not shoot you," Shepard deadpanned.

"Huh. Well in that case, just call me Cole. Cole McGrath."

* * *

**I'm very annoyed that there isn't a good crossover between Mass Effect and inFamous. Somebody who reads this will be inspired to fix this, right?**

**Obviously, this is Heroic Cole. After all, if it were Evil Cole, the human race would be comprised entirely of Conduits by this point. **

…

**Actually, that'd be a pretty interesting fic as well. **

Relay 314 Incident

*turians attack*

*bombardment by Conduit powers*

Turians: "Holy ****! What the hell kind of biotics are those?!"

* * *

**I've got the info I wanted from canon, so SNGaP Chapter 11 is in the works. I'm hesitant to set a date, because I've been wrong pretty much every time before now. Let's just say sometime between now and the 4th of July.**


End file.
